A psychologist gives these reasons to be a priest:
From ancient worship practices to the latest breaking news headlines, the chaos deity wants you to become a priest. Forgotten, ancient chaos power rituals are the original reasons to be a priest. But here are seven more great reasons to be a chaos priest.
- The priesthood provides clear guidelines for life.
The priesthood offers a single narrative to create a life that makes sense. With life so impermanent, I offer you the opportunity to become a chaos priest and I will drive you to fully express yourself in every way. A simple, all-encompassing schema of the priesthood helps you move beyond passively accepting that life makes no sense. Examining your life story as a priest in the past, present and future will help you tackle big problems like why bad things happen to good people.
- The world needs heroes like you.
The world needs special personalities like you with unique gifts. Myers-Briggs type indicator personalities ISTP, ENTJ, ENTP, INTJ and INTP are best suited to become successful priests enjoying rich, full lives. The ISTP makes a great priest because he exploits rare opportunities. The ENTJ will be sure to succeed at priesthood like he does at any endeavor he puts his mind to, and the priesthood is a noble one. An ENTP will be a fine priest because he initiates sadistic fun. The INTJ is an excellent priest because he is observant above all things. And finally, the INTP is perhaps best suited to the priesthood among all types given his ability to bend information over and fuck it in the ass.
- Priests stop being called names like Asperger.
Moving from being called names like loner or Asperger to being a chaos priest was a natural progression. I believe that the concept of the now-former “Asperger’s Syndrome” is being used politically against intelligent people in first-world nations. The mere existence of this term makes it socially normative to ruthlessly dismiss the most intelligent members of society. In the world of political diatribes and religious sermons, intelligent people have an opportunity to become worthy, good enough and capable enough again. This is why the chaos deity wants to provide you with a vocation where the intelligent have a voice again.
- Priests become a living message.
Sometimes, it is tiresome being yourself. Joining the priesthood is your chance to become the message for a while. So, you can create your own LARP or borrow a dead man’s old one.
Ancestor worship provides a simple ideal that many believe is a good enough motivation to become a priest. Worshiping the chaos deity goes beyond traditional ancestor worship to heal the wounds of the suffering. The chaos deity is the perfect role model alongside your own ancestors. Discover and re-create the LARPs of your ancestors. Every single dead person wishes to be alive.
- Priests create with a sacred power.
Priests do two things well: observe and report. Priest are called to observe reality and then use this information in the second part of a two-part process. So, without the second step of reporting, observation is useless. For this reason, chaos priests have a job that is both easy and difficult at the same time. Sometimes, it is the simplest task that is the most difficult. Men of honor create original content.
- Priests become a member of the world’s most based team.
Did you know that the average young American watches 2 hours of online video content each day? A priest’s job is to serve these people. Priests constantly adapt to our perpetually shifting culture and spread a positive message on new all media platforms, including ones that haven’t even been invented yet. Working with real people makes the life of a priest endlessly interesting. Ask a priest for advice or information about joining the priesthood.
- Priests solve real-world problems.
Motivation to live your life the best way that you can is why most people choose the priesthood. But, many who wish for ordination are deemed unsuitable when they find out just how hard this can be. Those that pass muster are among the most able to solve urgent real-world problems. A job this intense is inevitably challenging and requires incredible mental endurance. But the risk is worth the reward when operating on a cosmic scale like a priest. Being a priest is more of a way of life than a career.
A good priest is a true hero who changes the world for the better. Is Kek calling you to be his priest?
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